We are in the midst of a universal shift in energy. It started off slow and steady, years ago, as many of us experienced this odd feeling of waking from a long sleep. It is a shift in breaking away from the bond of attachments, shedding of ego and self-importance and bringing us to a consistent flow between spirit and our physical representation. Some of us suddenly felt the need to disconnect from everything in our lives in order to re-examine ourselves, better. Others, felt pressed to cling tightly to the things which may serve as a form of grounding, an anchor, as they felt steadily more unsure and forcefully dettached. Many left their long standing careers in search of a higher purpose for no other reason than feeling incredibly compelled to do something that satisfied them on a much deeper level.
Those who could feel this elemental pull on their heart and soul, made changes that agreed with their intuition. Many began to look inward and see about themselves what they had previously been unable to. Those who listened to and guarded their own internal knowing began to trust that knowing even more, and in it found their voice. A voice that was often opposing to the opinions and ideals of that which they previously held. And some, have spent so many years allowing negativity to play center stage in their minds that this energy shift, which has become more abrupt by the day, has had them feeling disjointed, unsure, anxious and unaware. They are easily fooled and unable to trust their own judgment. Even blinded to the outward manipulations which play to their sensibilities. Some have lost their own moral compass to the point where they almost need to be told what to believe and how to think.
This shift will not die down, it will not change its direction and it will only amp up in it’s forcefulness. It is a necessary pulling away from the superficial, the trivial, from ego, from self. It is what ancient civilations have experienced at the beginning to their age of enlightement.
What we are experiencing now, in this heavily volatile society, is the birthing pains of something far greater than ourselves that is about to be. Of knowing, of being, of existing, all within the intention and consciousness of love. Those that have lived lives serving self and unaware of how to move away from that particular state of being, are feeling a heightened level of self-importance. Obsessed with their opinions and being right. They can’t yet see that we are all one, each of us a droplet to the ocean, and not the whole ocean itself. Each one of us being of equal influence to that of the whole. This shift has been uncomfortable for many. They find themselves over-anxious, frustrated, depressed, sleep deprived, and not knowing why. Those feelings are meant to direct us toward introspection and change. It is meant to raise our awareness of the importance of our own self-talk, thought, speech and action in order for us to shed the ways that have kept us rooted in ego, fear and negativity. Once that shedding has completed we can then become fully intune with the consciouness of love, what is also known as Christ Consciousness. The consciousness in which all life was formed in and in which the Universe itself was created in. As in birth, before experiencing the wonderful, first there must be intense and excruciating birthing pains in order to bring it into existence.
As this shift started a few years ago in my life, I was completely caught off guard by it. Even being an empath and an intuitive, I still didn’t know what it was exactly that I was experiencing. I was suddenly impressed upon to move to the country, in another state. That feeling of desperation to move was so strong that as soon as it hit, my husband and I picked up and moved the very next weekend. I can only explain it by saying it was a “have to,” feeling. As soon as we moved, it was as if there was this internal checklist that checked off moving and immediately brought me to the next to do item of finding a way to further peace in the timultuous relationship with my Ex. Something that for years, I had been unable to accomplish and now it was another “have to,” moment.
While that peace was finally in its beginning stages, I became very ill. At the time, my brother was fighting cancer and my sister was fighting kidney failure. All that I could think of was that my parents did not need one more child who was sick to worry about. My doctor told me that she thought that I was going to die. My organs were beginning to shut down and I was malnourished and wasting away. My husband and I had the uncomfortable talks of what would come next and how to handle it, together. We both had this knowing that this would likely be it for me, and we were incredibly scared and clinging on to find something that eased this feeling of helplessness. We collectively decided not to share just how bad my situation was with anyone, in an effort to keep things as they always were for everyone around us. Approaching the conversation of death, with each other was one that was said in whispers and impersonal terms. It was almost as though the simple utterance of what we both knew, would bring it about faster. It was a decision that we felt was the right thing to do, but man was it a lonely one.
I remember at that time I just kept thinking that I was going to die and how unprepared I was to face whatever was to come. I kept thinking of never getting to wake up to my husband and children again. To not seeing my kids grow up and be women with their own families. Each day was like a test of patience. I felt alone because I was unwilling to share what was happening, with the people who knew me. I felt desperate to have some peace, and in any avenue that was chaotic I made strides to facilitate peace, wherever I could. The biggest change that happened at this time, was in me. I learned in an instant crash course, what it meant to have zero control and to have to trust something higher than myself.
I had given up on God years before. I had studied so many different religions and ideologies just trying to find what made sense to my spirit. I adopted all of these different ideas and implemented them in my life. I began learning about and working with crystals, practicing with herbs and oils, meditating — Everything that I could to guide me towards some form of spiritual truth. And in it, I found God. I found what I had been raised to believe already, but in a new way that made sense to my soul instead of within the confines of religion. I found that in all of these things that I had been studying, that intention was the most powerful thing that we attain. And that my own negative mindset had over-shadowed that tool which could lead me to healing. That shift continued and I began to understand how healing, for me, was much more about the shoring up of old wounds, old habbits and old resentments than it was about physical healing. I, all of the sudden, wanted so badly to change. It didn’t matter to me if I lived or died, so long as I changed. I spent my whole life hating who I was, believing what others said about me, wishing to be someone else entirely.
I’ve spoke about this before in a previous article, “When We Choose Love,” but several years prior, I had extensively read on metaphysical spirituality and how everything in life derived from either fear or love. I knew it, in my head to be true, but trying to get that knowing to become a conscious part of me, was a battle of flesh and ego against spirit. Even still, all of those years between my discovery and this time in my life, I had felt completely helpless to change. It was as if the mere notion of me changing all of the things that I didn’t like, was an effort in going entirely against the grain. It felt impossible and yet at that time, I thought that if I was going to die, I was going to die a better person than what I had been. I was going to do my absolute best to shed everything I thought that I knew and learn the lessons, from the beginning.
I had my first surgery and almost immediately after, things went haywire. The damn had broken and all hell was breaking loose around me. It’s pretty hard to alter the negative way in which you think and react to things, when everything terrible is hitting you at once and you already have no reserves to compose yourself. It was the second big test within this shift that I would experience and for a good while I honestly didn’t think I would get through it. I was fighting this illness and constantly being reminded that this may be the last time I have with my family. I tried my hardest to keep it all inside and fight against the outside attacks that I had in no way seen coming. But here they were and with no signs of losing their steam. I found it incresingly harder to shed the old ways that kept me bound to self. I made some unpopular decisions to clear my surroundings and as I talked about in my last article, “Pathway to Peace, Mindfulness & Gratitude,” I eventually found my peace. Though not without plenty of sacrifice, first.
It’s very difficult to choose love when everything in you wants to fight against mendacity. Even in that battle, I lost against myself many times, and gave in to the chaos. Once my life started to settle a little and I was finding that abounding peace I had been searching for, everything else fell into place, seamlessly. I had no more fear of anything that I could not control. I was free. Even though I was still sick, as the surgery hadn’t gotten rid of what the actual problem was, I almost felt a sense of relief in knowing that my life, no matter how long or short it would be, was purposed. It was all planned out before I came to be in this body, it even had it’s own expiration date. I realized that so much of my own previous negativity attributed to my physical illness. That they were connected. It was the sickness in me, in my mind, in my heart that was manifest in my physical body.
I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and while I continued to battle this illness, I began to write and get it all out. Everything that I couldn’t utter, everything that had no ear to land on, I got out and let go of through my writing. I had been told how I needed to write a book about my life and decided one day that I was going to do it. I rarely slept, but instead spent every waking moment furiously writing my story, and when I landed on the last word, ending with the last punctuation, I fell apart. It was as though someone had handed me the keys to my own jail cell and told me that I was free to go. All of these things in my life that had kept me bound to a feeling of helplessness, resentment and pain, had been released and with it, all of its symptoms. I read the book one time, while editing, and never picked it up again. I left the pain on the paper and I officially walked away.
My last surgery came up and with it, came the feeling of peace. I was finally settled within my spirit to accept whatever was to come. I had spent months working on myself to get to a place where everything I did, said or thought was balanced against its rooted intention. If the intention wasn’t from love, I threw it out. I stopped the thoughts, I didn’t speak the words, I didn’t act it out — I simply let it go. I had learned how to control myself in order to stay in-tune and connected to my spirit and the conscious energy that flows through all of creation.
This journey which began years before with the understanding of the power behind the intention of both fear and love took me to places so dark within myself, for a purpose. Without the darkness, we cannot fully appreciate light. I had to see myself for exactly what I was, every unbecoming part of me in order to know what work needed to be done, and what had to be changed. I had to be forced to sit in silent fear and contemplation of my own death, in order to understand that which gives us life. I didn’t know then, how this would thoroughly change my way of being. It’s one thing to know something from a logical perspective, ‘I understand this, I know it in my head,’ — But it’s entirely seperate to know it deep within yourself, for it to resonate through every part of you where it becomes the very thing that guides you in everything that you say, think and do. The difference is not only the application of the knowledge but the true understanding of it. Each time I think about it, I immediately think of that old gospel hymn, “It is well within my soul.”
Being in-tune with your spirit is to be in-tune with the Creator and all of creation. It is to feel a part of something bigger than you, a collective consciouness formed in the intention of love. It is to feel well within your soul. Since the time where I decided to choose love and to hold my own thoughts against this measuring stick of Love vs. Fear, there has been no more doubt, no more fear, no more anxiety in any situation that I face. It’s a knowing that all things are purposed and meant to work out exactly as they should. This is not only mindset it is a way of living that completely changes the trajectory of your life. It carved out a new path for me. One that with each step, just feels, right.
We are seeing almost everyone shouting their opinions these days. Trying to silence the other side, and when that doesn’t work — Choosing a full-on attack. This is the lowest form of negative energy and it is being answered by the opposing sides, in-kind. Only we can change this. To adhere to this universal energy shift towards love is to answer fear and the fruits of fear, with that of love. To go with the changing energy flow, instead of against it.
If you are experiencing this shift, know that you are not alone. If you are deciding to leave behind the things that kept you grounded in the negative, your choice is the one that will bring you into this shift towards the positive. This shift is like a beaming light being shined into darkness. It will uncover every misplaced truth, every ugly detail of who we are, who those around us are, in order to force change for the positive. It is the one that will lead you to truth and to enlightenment. This is not about religion, it is about the connection to that which created us. To the consciousnesses of creation and of the Creator.