I’ll start off by saying that I have this nervous tick that causes me to rearrange rooms of my house randomly, every few months. Every house we’ve lived in has never staid the same for too long. I paint walls, rearrange furniture, re-purpose other furniture in new rooms until I feel settled…and exhausted. I think it’s because of the energy flow. Each time it seems to become stagnant, I sage the house, light some incense and go to work rearranging until I feel peace. Today I was doing just this.
I wear house shoes as long as I am inside the house because we have original hardwood floors. If you’ve ever lived in a hundred year old house then you know the kind. They feel like your walking on cement without a bit of give or cushion to them. So I wear my black house shoes adorned in brightly colored owls and hot pink soles. What can I say, they make me smile. 😀 As I was moving the bed with these shoes on I noticed how although my feet were planted, they were sliding all over the place. The only thing moving was me, not the bed. So I kicked ’em off and felt the traction of the souls of my feet against these shiny and unforgiving, hardwood floors.
When I felt that give and take between myself and the ground, I had to kind of laugh under my breath. Lately my life has been a series of moments where I feel unsteady, like I’m losing my grip and just sliding around. Circumstances hit like tidal waves and the things I thought I was dealing with nicely, come crashing back on me and I loose my footing. In the past when these moments of chaos happened, I would start grabbing for the things that used to bring me comfort or made me forget what was currently taking place. And by the time the wave had subsided, I never really learned the lesson it was trying to teach me. I thought about how amazing it is that upon our creation as human beings, in whatever form you believe that it occurred makes no difference, by design we were given these feet and hands that can grip the earth and provide traction where needed. It wasn’t an accident or happy mistake that even the animal kingdom has the same kind of functionality to their feet and hands as we do. It was purposeful. It is useful to us.
I started thinking about how it is so similar to how the negative circumstances in my life have become my traction. That force that propels me into moving forward down the right path. The things that I cannot understand when they are happening, but once I reach the other side of them, I become nothing but grateful for how they changed me. They are the the push up to my push down, the give to my take that forces me to move through. And even in their negative intentions, they are so useful. They bring lessons, and growth and awakening. Without that traction I would be sliding all over the place without anything to keep my footing grounded. I would be on the wrong path, turned around and trying to find anything to hold onto, whether it be good or bad.
As I put the room together and felt that sense of peace for everything falling into place, I also felt the same gratitude for all that is falling into place in my life. For all that used to get me down, make me feel less than or question myself — Are now my sources of strength. The things that bring out the fight in me. Pushing me further in the direction that I’m headed in or even to shifting it when necessary. I’m beginning to not only love, but depend on the feeling of that push back — as my feet move down the right path. It is with a smile on my face and copious amounts of gratitude in my heart that I reflect today on all of the sources of traction in my life!