So the dentist prescribed me some high volume antibiotics and a strong pain killer for my tooth. For 21 years I lived on multiple pains killers, around the clock for a hereditary and painful back condition. To say that I hate taking pain medicine is an understatement to the millionth degree. I hate the way I feel on them, how nauseous they make me and how I am all too chatty while doped up.

Fourteen years ago I decided against my doctors wishes to cut myself off of them, cold turkey. Each month that went by my doctor was upping my dosage and adding new medicines to my routine, all of which were way too strong to even handle a vacuum cleaner while on let alone a toddler. So I stopped taking them and for almost a year I went through the worst withdrawals that I had ever experienced. I thought I was going to die with my head swimming in the toilet bowl. It was awful. I had to learn a way to live with my pain without medication. However when a new issue arises, and gets to the point of unbearable I get prescribed something strong that I don’t already have a high tolerance to.

Only the second night on these medicines I dreamt that I had no teeth. First, only half of my teeth on the top and bottom were gone and then later in the dream, all of them were gone. A little while after that in my dream, my husband was gone… That one seems like a logical next step to me being toothless, though.

Last night — Day four into my adventure on these medicines, I woke up several times in the night after going to bed at 2am out of pure necessity to keep myself from puking. Each time that I woke up, I was seeing figures in and just outside of my room. Tall figures with long arms, necks and legs, with no real definition to their frames. Naturally my conclusion was, aliens were in my room. I didn’t wake my husband up to tell him that aliens were in the room because I woke up in sleep paralysis. I could not move a single muscle. I felt that warm sensation that pain killers make you feel when they’re strong enough. I could hear my daughter’s fan on in the next room and the train that seemingly passes by every thirty minutes down the street from us, so I knew that I was awake – but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even speak or make a sound. I was frozen and thinking aliens were in the room. I’d like to say this is the first time I’ve experienced this while on these medicines the past four days, but it isn’t. Each night once I finally fall asleep I wake up later to black figures. I blink and they’re gone. I blink again and they’re in a different part of the room. I close my eyes and go back to sleep because honestly, what else can I do? It’s not like if aliens really were in my room that I could somehow fight them off? I mean come on. I could tell my husband, but what could he do besides freak out or tell me I’m crazy and to go back to sleep.

Today I decided not to take anything, but the antibiotic and just deal with the pain until I had no other choice but to take these wretched pills. While in the bath, I started hearing things coming from the other room. No one was here, but me and I am hearing voices and movement. This time I am lucid, totally awake and can move. But because I had only one partially shaved leg, I wasn’t about to get out of the bathtub to check. I mean what if it had been an intruder? Was I really going to die with one hairy leg and another partially hairy one? It’s a no brainer, finish shaving and then get out to check. By the time I was done, I had convinced myself that what I was hearing was all in my head, but to be on the safe side — hurry up shaving those legs and get out sister!

I eventually got out glad to be alive and all, when it dawned on me to read the side effects of the medicines that I’m taking. Low and behold, one side effect is hallucinations! BAM!!! I wasn’t going crazy! Well, I guess that I was but it was a medically induced craziness and not just a pre-existing crazy that I would need to seek psychological help for. As I write this, my jaw and cheekbone are throbbing like a mother so I will have to take another pain pill tonight, but I’m not too thrilled about it. I think I will sleep with a tin foil cap on and a flashlight shining under my chin. At least that way if the aliens truly are here, they’ll think that I’m a lunatic who they would learn nothing from studying and move on to the next house.